Kon's Ultimate Fantasy
by koswarg
Summary: [MatsuHime] While seeking to cheer Orihime up, Rangiku ends up trying to teach the girl a thing or two.


**Warnings:** Shoujo-ai, girl-kissing, innocent naked contact--don't like, don't read.

* * *

Orihime was being awfully quiet today. 

Rangiku might not have known the girl all _that_ well, but she could tell that something was amiss. She prided herself on being perceptive about these types of things, after all.

"Orihime?" she asked casually, when they entered the girl's apartment.

"Mmm?" she responded.

"Is everything alright?"

Orihime broke her pensive expression rather abruptly, giving Rangiku the impression that she was trying to cover something up. And failing rather miserably, at that.

"Has this got anything to do with Ichigo?" she pressed bluntly, giving the girl a sympathetic look. Orihime's eyes widened with shock, but Rangiku seemed to take no notice as she shrugged out of the fashionable coat she was wearing and proceeded to hang it on the rack.

"What makes you say that?" Orihime said after a moment, smiling nervously and waving her arm in the air in an innocent gesture. Rangiku cocked an eyebrow at her all-too-obvious attempt to conceal her feelings.

"Just a hunch," she responded, a bit of sarcasm finding its way into her voice. Honestly, the Kurosaki-dolt was probably the only person on Earth _not_ aware of Orihime's feelings.

"Well...not exactly..." she said, eyes downcast.

Rangiku smiled, glad to be making some progress. "You shouldn't fret over men," she said, nodding her head sagely. "Nothing but trouble. Say," she began, a thought striking her. "Have you got any sake?"

"Sake?" Orihime repeated, blinking confusedly. "Um...I don't think so, Rangiku-san. I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry about it. I always bring some along, just in case," she responded, winking at Orihime. She grinned right back, bouncing her way into the kitchen.

"And let's have some soup while we're at it!" Orihime suggested brightly, beginning to pull all manner of things out of the cabinets. Rangiku eyed the potential ingredients warily and replied, "Maybe later. How about a nice, hot bath instead? I know that I could sure use one."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Rangiku-san! Let's bathe together!"

-----

The sound of light giggling filled the steamy air of Orihime's rather large bathroom.

Rangiku was leaning against one edge of the tub, a small cup of sake in her right hand. She made a series of satisfied sounds; she hadn't experienced a bath this refreshing in a long while.

Orihime was leaning back against the other side, resting her head against the edge of the tub, her hair draping down over the side. A blush played across her cheeks and she was giggling so hard that the entire bathtub seemed to be shaking with the force of her merriment.

Rangiku brought one of her legs up to hang over the edge of the tub, causing a bit of water to splash over the side. She smirked.

"It's true, you know. The tougher they act, the more they're compensating for. I bet that Sado is packing, though."

"Rangiku-san!" Orihime exclaimed in shock, half-serious and half-kidding, now beginning to laugh outright.

"I guess I can see why you like him," she continued. "He's a good kid." Orihime smiled. "Dumb as a brick, though," she added, downing the rest of her sake and pouring herself another.

"What do you mean?"

Rangiku rolled her eyes. "Well, for one thing, he's terrible at picking up signals."

"Signals?" Orihime repeated curiously, tilting her head.

"You know...signs that someone fancies him."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Rangiku said, taking another sip of her sake, "Any girl after him would definitely have to be willing to make the first move, because he sure ain't gonna."

"Oh," Orihime responded again, looking pensive. She sipped her sake quietly for a moment. Rangiku closed her eyes and sighed contentedly, letting herself be absorbed in the warmth of the bath (and the sake--it was rather good sake, after all) while Orihime gathered her thoughts.

"Rangiku-san?" came Orihime's girly voice, interrupting her indulgence.

"Mmm?" she responded, opening one eye to look at her.

"What would a girl have to do in order to..."make the first move"?"

Rangiku cocked an eyebrow, sitting up a little straighter and focusing her attention on Orihime. Was she serious? "Well, a good kiss isn't a bad place to start."

"Really?" Orihime replied, looking somewhat disappointed. Geez, didn't the girl _want_ to kiss Ichigo?

"What's the matter?"

"I haven't ever kissed anyone before," Orihime responded. "Well, not really, I mean. I kiss Tatsuki-chan all the time, but not the kind of--"

"You might want to keep that to yourself," Rangiku interrupted. "But a pretty girl like you, never been kissed? How surprising. Don't worry, it's not very difficult, even for a first-timer. Besides, I doubt Ichigo's ever been kissed, so he won't even know the difference."

Orihime fell silent again. She looked positively miserable, which was pretty strange for her, Rangiku thought. Wasn't she _happy_ that Ichigo had never been kissed before? "Hey, I know what," she said in a cheery tone. "How about I teach you everything I know? Then maybe you won't worry about it so much."

"Would you?" Orihime responded, sounding very excited. "You seem like you know a lot!"

Rangiku decided not to comment on how _that_ way of phrasing things could come across. After all, she knew that Orihime hadn't meant it that way. Instead, she sat up straight, sliding over so that she was sitting right next to Orihime.

"First and foremost," she began, sounding a bit like an academy instructor, "You need to make sure that your breath is fresh. Do you carry mints?"

"All the time!" Orihime chirped. "They taste like fish!"

"You...might want to try a different flavor," Rangiku said, not wanting to hurt the girl's feelings. "Perhaps something a bit more...minty."

Orihime nodded excitedly. Rangiku had no trouble telling that the girl was taking this all to heart, so she struggled to give good advice.

"Next, make sure your lips are soft. A little bit of lip gloss every now and then should do the trick, but," she paused, taking Orihime's chin in her hand and inspecting her lips closely, "you probably don't even need it. Never make them too wet, though. If it's a good kiss, you'll be getting plenty of that," she said, winking.

"Alright, let's see what you've got."

Orihime nodded and barely paused for a moment before charging at Rangiku, smashing her lips against the older woman's. Rangiku opened her mouth to say that she was going about it all wrong, but as soon as she did so, Orihime's tongue shot eagerly into her open mouth, exploring for a few moments before Rangiku pulled away, quite out of breath.

"What was _that_?"

"A...kiss?"

"_I'll_ say," Rangiku responded, wiping her soaked lips with her right arm. "You might not want to come on so strong when you try it with Ichigo," she advised, unfazed (for the most part). After all, it wasn't the first time that someone had jumped on her like that. And she hoped it wouldn't be the last.

"Start out gentle," Rangiku said softly, leaning forward to place a barely-there kiss on Orihime's lips. "Like that."

Orihime touched her lips with her middle and forefingers, as if remembering the sensation. "I'll definitely remember that, Rangiku-san!" she said happily, sauntering over to pour herself more sake. "This is really good," Orihime said in a dreamy tone, grinning at her.

Rangiku raised an eyebrow when she put one hand under each of her breasts, alternating between lifting her left and right and inspecting them rather closely.

"Do you think one really is bigger than the other? This one feels like it weighs a bit more, but I'm not sure..."

"How much sake have you had, Orihime?"

"Not much, Rangiku-san! Only...erm..." Orihime paused as if thinking, hands still under her breasts. "I guess I forgot," she said after a while, giggling.

Rangiku sighed. She should have known that Orihime wouldn't be able to hold her alcohol very well. No sooner had she thought it than Orihime paused mid-giggle and promptly lost her lunch over the side of the tub.

"Oh...I don't feel so well..."

"Yeah, no kidding. Well, let's get you cleaned up."

-----

A short time later, Orihime was snuggling into the warmth of her favorite blanket, lying on her living room sofa.

"Feel better?" Rangiku asked, sitting down on the edge of the sofa and placing her hand on Orihime's forehead. She wasn't really sure why, it just seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

Orihime nodded tiredly. She was finding it more difficult by the second to keep her eyes open.

"I just need to sleep, that's all. I suppose maybe the Sandman is working overtime..." she said vaguely, eyes drifting closed as she gave into unconsciousness.

Rangiku smiled and shook her head. There were so many things about Orihime that were easy to figure out, yet so many more that she was sure she'd never be able to fully understand.

-----

Back at Ichigo's house, a thick stream of blood began to gush from Kon's nose, despite the fact that he was sound asleep.

-----  
_  
owari  
_

* * *

A/N: Yeah, pretty tame for "ultimate fantasy." But you know, just the _idea_ of MatsuHime is Kon's ultimate fantasy. 


End file.
